When exactly does it sink in?
From the first heart racing moment when that second little line shows up to the nervous energy of sitting in the doctor's waiting room at that first appointment. When does it become real? Everyone asks if you are excited and I keep trying to remember the moment when it changed from terror to excitement. I think (for me) both those things were answered at the same time.
The terror set in immediately. Once I saw those two little lines and I knew our lives would be changed forever the tears started flowing. It took my partner a few minutes of reassuring me things would be OK for me to even start wrapping my mind around the situation. We were lucky to have found out so early, lucky in the sense that I could start taking my vitamins and eating properly for a pregnancy. What isn't so lucky is that the doctor doesn't care to see you until you are at least 8 weeks along. I am the most impatient person on the planet, waiting that month was brutal. But even though the lines said this was happening, the period was officially not coming, and the blood test confirmed the situation it still didn't seem real.
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The lines were so faint it took some convincing to admit they were even there!
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The first appointment at the doctor's office took forever. A million questions asked, tubes upon tubes of blood taken, it seemed to go on for an eternity. The one great thing is we were asked to go see the ultrasound lady first and then we'd see the doctor. Now I am not generally an overly-emotional person and I am not sure what I was expecting but once I saw that little bean on the tv screen (another thing I wasn't expecting was the ultrasound to show up on a 42inch flatscreen) and heard that little heartbeat all bets were off. There was no controlling the tears that flowed but this time they were of a totally different nature... not panic, not terror... just happiness. It was at that moment while the tech printed the pictures for us that things became simultaneously exciting and very real.
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Yes, that is me wiping away the tears.
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