Week 17 (9/18-9/24)

I have been very easily angered this week... Hovik finishing some food item of mine that I went out of my way to buy and not replacing it or letting me know he finished it almost led to his death. The item in question is my milk. We buy almond milk at Costco (3 half gallons) and always have it on hand since he makes shakes quite frequently. I get on a chocolate milk kick so I go out of my way to get lactose free milk at the store and have a glass of milk for breakfast every morning. The other day I go to make some chocolate milk and look what I find but no milk. It doesn't bother me that he used the milk, he's my husband and consumes 97% of what we purchase anyway- it bothers me that he didn't replace it or at least tell me that he used it all knowing that I use it all the time. So I buy more of my milk and have my chocolate milk again. He leaves super early this morning to the gym so I wake up to an empty bed but when I text him he lets me know he's there and all is fine. I get up and make some breakfast and Archie is scratching to be let in so I go to open the door and Hov is standing right there trying to unlock the back door which of course makes me scream because I go to open the back door for my 15lb dog and there is a man standing there. He shoots me a look like I'm crazy and tells me he took the garbage can to the back yard and was trying to just come in from the back. Then he goes to make a shake and grabs my milk to make it. Same man who was using water a week ago because he didn't want the extra calories and didn't care what he used, all of a sudden he's using my milk instead of the 3 half-gallons of almond milk. When I ask him why he's wasting my milk in his shake instead of the almond milk he goes on about how it's about the dairy vs almond which is 100% bullshit, he's the one who wanted to switch to almond in the beginning to avoid the dairy. The real reason is probably because it was the first carton he saw in the fridge and couldn't be bothered to reach for a different one. I wouldn't have cared at all if I knew he would replace the milk once he finished it but I already know how this story is going to end. In conclusion, I've been plotting his death all morning.

I think it's pretty clear from the milk situation that things escalate in my mind very rapidly lately. I'm trying to not be so crazy.  I at least can recognize that I have these crazy moments even though I can't stop them when they are happening. It's almost like an out of body experience- I can rationally see as it's happening that I'm not being rational or even if the point started out rationally the rage takes over immediately. To try to avoid a situation like this again, we went to the store today and bought two half gallons of milk so we wouldn't have any more issues and of course he apologized for the other day although I'm not really sure he knew why he was apologizing.

This week the baby is the size of a turnip or an onion or the palm of my hand depending what ap I look at. I think I feel some kicks but I can't tell if it's just gas or not. I think some are kicks. It sort of feels like I have a little cement mixer in my belly sometimes. I had to finally bust out the belly band thing so I could continue to wear my jeans. It basically acts like  sleeve so I can have my buttons unbuttoned without my pants falling down or anyone knowing I have them unbuttoned. Kudos to my girlfriend Brooke for this wonderful gift. It was the first one we got when we found out we were expecting.

I feel and look like a sausage. My belly is so big, boobs too. You can't really tell from the pictures but I'm spilling out of all my bras and have to double up on shirts. Now, I'm more frequently wearing an undershirt or cami under whatever loose shirt I have to try and tame the beasts. I keep thinking the belly is going to go down like it's due to a big meal or something. It's not. I have officially gained weight. Up until the last doctor visit (on the 10th) I hadn't gained a single ounce. I weighed myself at the gym today and have gained 3 pounds. I need to be careful at that pace. Last few days I've been a little more watchful of what I eat but this past weekend was crazy. I'm going to try and keep it in check though, it'll be easier when Hov isn't here to run out and get me whatever I want since I probably won't want to go and do it myself.

Hov's job start date got pushed back a week so I get him for a week extra which makes me happy. He moves in with his dad since his brother moved out and I'll go visit a couple times until December when I can move down. We decided it would be easier to just deliver down there so even though I'm not happy about switching doctors I need to start interviewing some. I still have to come back up a couple times next semester to check in and then after the baby comes to get things ready for graduation and whatnot. We'll see how that goes.

Because Hov's date got pushed back a week he's had this week off. It's been really nice coming home to him already here and most days he's had dinner ready which is fantastic because I'm usually ready to rage by the time I walk in the door. I seriously wouldn't mind having him be a house husband. I texted him earlier that I wanted Cami's Seashell shrimp pasta which is something that would be impossible since they closed years ago and even if they hadn't they were located in Miami and what does he do but make it at home. So sweet. Not to mention it was really tasty.

In addition to today's shrimp pasta bit this week my food craving has been burgers. I have never in my life craved a burger until now. Can't get enough. I also really want a soft pretzel... Not sure where I can get one in town but I need to find one, or maybe I'll just make some. Chocolate milk has also been very consistent. I can't get enough chocolate milk. It's heaven.

I started organizing my papers so I can get a jump on writing my dissertation. It's daunting and this is only scratching the surface. I took over the table in lab and that's only for the intro.

I get two more days with Hov. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't heartbroken. I know it's only for a couple months but ughh I really don't want to be away from him. Not only that- him going down makes the move to Miami real and the dread of it happening has been increasing exponentially. I would really prefer if we just stayed up here. Oh well, we make sacrifices for those we love and in this case, having family around the baby takes priority over our comfort in Tallahassee.